“Donald Trump was put here (on Earth) as a test given to us by a god that doesn’t exist.”
-Eddie Izzard
Lesson Learned: The Internet in Croatia is very good. Its as good as it is in many places in the US. Another thing I liked about it is we were able to purchase a SIM chip with unlimited data that was good for a week for about $12. Since we use a lot of data, this was a great deal. We stream movies, do data calls back home, navigate with GPS, work on my blog, make reservations, plan our trip, do online banking, etc. We use it a lot. Its like suddenly being blind when you lose Internet access.
The first day we arrived, we went to the Vodafone Store (we could have gone to T-Mobile or half a dozen other carriers as well) and bought 4 chips, stuck them in my backpack and every week swap out a new one for the old. Works like a champ, and I haven’t been disappointed yet.
Regrets: The fire in Paris took out a large part of Notre Dame Cathedral. This saddens us and makes us regret that we didn’t start our trip in Paris instead of Athens. The site was definitely on our list of things to see on our journey. I’m afraid the cathedral may never be the same.
Go-Date: Day 83, Monday, April 16
Today was our last day in Zagreb (on this loop). It was also the day we had tickets for Eddie Izzard. OK, if you haven’t heard of him, you aren’t alone. But seriously, what rock have you been living under? He’s been around for decades, has had several HBO specials, had roles in numerous movies, sells out stand-up concerts around the world, and looks pretty good in a dress, for a guy.
Eddie Izzard is a British stand-up comedian, actor, writer and political activist. He sort of rambles, goes on tirades, conducts whimsical monologue and self-referential pantomime, has two-way conversations with himself as multiple characters, and generally does what you wouldn’t expect him to do. He’s done a lot of acting and had a starring role in the television series The Riches as Wayne Malloy and has appeared in films such as Ocean’s Twelve, Ocean’s Thirteen, Mystery Men, Shadow of the Vampire, The Cat’s Meow, Across the Universe, Valkyrie and Victoria & Abdul. He has also worked as a voice actor in The Wild, Igor, The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, Cars 2 and The Lego Batman Movie. OK, so he’s been at it for a while and is still unknown by lots of Americans.
We love his bit. He can elicit belly laughs from Ellen, which no other living stand-up comedian can do. Izzard is openly “straight transvestite” having cross-dressed both on and offstage (which still twists my pointy lil ole West Texas head, but I don’t give a damn). Izzard has campaigned for various causes and has been a Labour Party activist for most of his life. He twice attempted to be elected for a seat on Labour’s National Executive Committee. He’s giving up his comedic stand-up job to run for Parliament in the next election. He’s really serious about this politics shit.
He says outrageous stuff. And some of the things he says actually make sense.
We leave for Plitvice Lakes National Park tomorrow, but tonight I’ll leave you with some Eddie quotes:
“We need to become more open minded to the idea that many of us exist on a spectrum – a continuum – of gender. That for some of us the choice isn’t just one or the other – completely male or completely female – but often a combination of both. In fact, it seems there are three different lines on the sexuality spectrum: how you self identify, who you’re attracted to, and what you look like. And it seems the dial can be at any place on any of those three lines.”
― Eddie Izzard, Believe Me: A Memoir of Love, Death, and Jazz Chickens
“If there is a god they need to come down to Earth and explain WWII, Hitler, bowel cancer, and Croc shoes.”
― Eddie Izzard, Believe Me: A Memoir of Love, Death, and Jazz Chickens
“You say ‘erbs, and we say herbs… because there’s a fucking ‘h’ in it!”
― Eddie Izzard
“If there is a God, his plan is very similar to someone not having a plan.”
― Eddie Izzard
“We stole countries with the cunning use of flags. Just sail around the world and stick a flag in. “I claim India for Britain!” They’re going “You can’t claim us, we live here! Five hundred million of us!” “Do you have a flag …? “No…” “Well, if you don’t have a flag, then you can’t have a country. Those are the rules… that I just made up!”
― Eddie Izzard, Eddie Izzard: Dress to Kill
“I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.”
-Eddie Izzard
“Never put a sock in a toaster.”
-Eddie Izzard
“If you’ve never seen an elephant ski, you’ve never been on acid.”
-Eddie Izzard
“I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.”
-Eddie Izzard